Excerpt From The Novel
Tuesday, 8-15
Hey, Mrs. Pope. I’m the diet-challenged kid who sits in the last seat by the door. I stay in the back so you don’t have to constantly hear, “We can’t see around Jimmy!” Just trying to help out. Besides, you can see a lot back here in the cheap seats. Like how nobody wants to do this stupid journal.
Man, I don’t get teachers. Why do you guys pile it on the first day of school? Can’t you let us get used to the idea that summer is really over, before you stick it to us? Man, this journal thing has me bummed, big time. Three half-pages a week is tough. That’s so NOT cool. It may not seem like much to you (Hello! You’re an English teacher), but for kids like me, it stinks. That’s one and a half pages every week for an entire school year. Why don’t you just ask us to write the great American novel and say it’s due in June? It’s not as bad for the girls. They keep diaries and write notes to each other nonstop. They write really big too. Just to take up space. That’s so fake.
Like any of us are going to write more than three pages a week. Half the kids won’t even do that. It’s too much to expect from us. I don’t have that much to write about anyway.
No offense, but some of the topics you suggested are cheesy, like “describe your room.” My room has four walls, a bed and a dresser. I have a built-in desk with a lamp. Last week my mother and I pasted glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. Okay, that’s pretty cool.
But now what do I write about?
English teachers should have their students write essays about current events like we did last year in middle school, not just any stuff you want to write about. What’s the point of that? There’s enough garbage in the world already. You said to write really fast even if it makes no sense, so here I am writing a journal that makes no sense, or is that nonsense, or maybe nose sense, or stupid sense, or, in my pocket are no cents, or the locker room has lots of scents. So, I’m done. There’s my OVER a half-page. Sorry this is stupid, but what do you expect from a high school kid? Hope you enjoyed me ruining a tree.